Godzilla is known as one of the few Japanese kaiju monsters with virtually no weaknesses. Aside from his massive strength and nearly impenetrable hide, the King of Monsters boasts a powerful healing factor that renders him essentially immortal. Even so, Godzilla does have vulnerabilities, many of which tend to be more mental than physical… and none more powerful than basketball.
Several movies have shown Godzilla is susceptible to alien mind control. Other stories show he can be manipulated in other ways, as he revealed when he met his most unlikely foe: former professional basketball player Charles Barkley. Yes, Godzilla actually fought then-NBA star Charles Barkley. Not once, but twice.
Originally coming to blows in a 1992 Nike television commercial, the two later clashed in a one-shot Dark Horse comic book that exposed Godzilla’s most secret weakness: the King of Monsters just can’t resist being challenged to play a little one-on-one basketball.
Godzilla vs. Charles Barkley
The King of Monsters first fought Charles Barkley during one of his many rampages through Tokyo. As Godzilla barbecues a building with his radioactive breath, he spots Barkley (somehow now grown to giant size and wearing enormous Nike shoes) dribbling a basketball down a street. Challenged, Godzilla dons a pair of hot pink goggles and faces off against the NBA star. Although Godzilla knocks the ball out of Barkley’s hands with his tail, the more experienced Barkley shoves Godzilla into a building and then slam dunks the ball through the dangling “O” of a “TOKYO” building sign Godzilla partially wrecked. In the final scene, the two walk through the burning city as Barkley quips, “Have you ever thought about wearing shoes?” (Or in other versions, “The Lakers are looking for a big man…”)
Godzilla would get a rematch in the Dark Horse one-shot comic Godzilla vs. Barkley, which saw him face off against the basketball star again. Although writer Mike Barron and artists Jeff Butler and Keith Aiken are credited with the script and artwork, the comic’s plot is credited to “Alan Smithee” – the pseudonym used by film directors who don’t want to be associated with the bad movies they helped make. In the comic, Godzilla rises out of the Pacific Ocean near the coast of California, ripping apart a Japanese cargo ship in the process. The next day, one of the Japanese sailors washes up on the beach where Charles Barkley just happens to be doing a photo shoot for his fans. As Godzilla rampages through California, one of Barkley’s fans – a boy named Matt – asks the basketball star to stop Godzilla. When the NBA star asks what makes the boy think he can take down Godzilla, Matt tells Barkley it’s because Charles Barkley is “Earth’s greatest warrior.” Impressed, Barkley realizes the kid “may have a point.”
Using a magic silver dollar given to Matt by his grandfather, Charles Barkley grows to gigantic size (yes, really), and assures the panicked civilians he’ll lead Godzilla out of the city before the kaiju can do any real damage. How? Apparently, Barkley knows that “Godzilla is a sucker for B-ball!” And he’s right: once Barkley smacks Godzilla in the head with his oversized basketball, the King of Monsters quickly follows the giant Charles Barkley to an Air Force base. There, using an old shuttle scaffold as their basket, the powerful kaiju and NBA player face off.
Godzilla initially takes the lead, smacking Charles Barkley in the face with his tail and making the first basket. Barkley quickly regroups, however, and begins scoring point after point – much to the delight of his many fans who gather to see the NBA star trounce the mighty Godzilla. Enraged, Godzilla melts the basketball with his radioactive breath. Barkley takes this in stride, assuring Godzilla that “you got some moves” and that with a little work, the King of Monsters might be able to get a try-out with a second-string team like the Chicago Bulls.
Encouraged, Godzilla decides to work on his moves. After outfitting Godzilla with a pair of size 13,000 EEE Nike sneakers, Barkley leaves the King of Monsters in a remote canyon somewhere in Utah and tells him to start practicing. Godzilla gets busy and Charles Barkley promises to see him in about a hundred years.
Should Godzilla Showcase His Ball Skills in a Movie?
Silly as Godzilla vs. Barkley might appear, the comic actually follows in the footsteps of many Godzilla films that establish the King of Monsters is a huge sports enthusiast. Long-time fans will remember Godzilla’s “victory dance” at the end of Monster Zero (aka Invasion of Astro-Monster) (1965) where he jumps up and down, waving his arms in an aerobics-style routine after beating up King Ghidorah.
Other movies show Godzilla is surprisingly athletic for his size and regularly uses boxing, wrestling, judo, and karate-based moves against his enemies. In 1966’s Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster (originally released as Ebirah, Horror of the Deep) Godzilla uses a boulder to play a kaiju version of volleyball with a giant lobster, even butting the boulder with his head at one point. Fellow kaiju Rodan challenges Godzilla to a ping pong-style match in Ghidorah, The Three Headed Monster (1964) where they smack another boulder back and forth, nearly giving spectator Mothra whiplash. And as recently as 2004’s Godzilla: Final Wars, Godzilla plays a game of soccer with monsters King Caesar and Rodan, using another kaiju – Anguirus – as the ball.
Granted, current Godzilla films have tried to showcase Godzilla in a slightly more serious tone. Nevertheless, the introduction of so many different kaiju monsters in Godzilla, King of Monsters (2019) offers plenty of opportunities for future films to include Easter egg-references to Godzilla’s many sports-influenced battles (including his basketball match with Charles Barkley). Considering that the original version of the upcoming Godzilla vs. Kong was basically an extended wrestling match between King Kong and Godzilla, it seems a shame not to at least make some reference to Godzilla’s enthusiasm for playing sports. Including his secret weakness for playing basketball.
Next: Ghidorah Set Up Kong’s Next Battle in Godzilla: King Of The Monsters
