Nothing is perfect in life. That includes a generally perfect show like The Golden Girls. The ’80s sitcom about four elderly ladies living together in Miami still makes us laugh today. Dorothy is the freethinker with some bite to her words; Blanche is a Southern belle who loves attention; Rose is naïve to a fault; Sophia is the bad-tempered matriarch who cracks wise better than people a third of her age. Together, they are some of the most memorable women to have ever graced American television.
Despite their comic timing, the Girls cannot make less-than-favorable episodes work. So, let’s look at some of the worst episodes in the series, according to IMDb.
Episode 1.14: That Was No Lady — 7.3
At the school she’s substituting at, Dorothy starts dating the gym teacher Glen O’Brien. Sophia and the others find him to be an all right guy… except for the fact that he’s still married. Dorothy cuts things off, but she returns to Glen despite everyone else’s warnings. Meanwhile, Blanche tries to sell her broken down car to Rose.
The two episodes where Dorothy gets involved with a married man are presumably not well-liked because they paint Dorothy in a bad light. Yet it’s her very human flaw that makes Dorothy so relatable. She’s lonely and vulnerable; these are traits we can all understand. As for the B-plot, Blanche trying to pull a fast one on gullible Rose is just mean.
Episode 2.23: Son-in-Law Dearest — 7.1
Dororthy’s daughter Kate has a big announcement. While Dorothy thinks Kate is pregnant, it turns out her husband Dennis cheated on her. Dorothy and her ex-husband Stan are both livid, but the whole ordeal understandably dredges up bad memories for Dorothy. And although Kate is willing to forgive Dennis, Dorothy struggles to do the same.
One of Dorothy’s biggest hurdles in life was overcoming how much Stan hurt her. Although this episode started off about Kate and Dennis, it became more about Dorothy learning to forgive. If not for her daughter’s sake, then for herself.
Episode 2.07: Family Affair — 7.1
Dorothy and Stan’s son Michael pays an unexpected visit just as Rose’s daughter Bridget shows up. When Blanche plays matchmaker and succeeds, the children’s parents are shocked to find them in bed together. This causes a rift between Dorothy and Rose.
Blanche’s need to stick her nose into things bites her in the butt in this rather awkward episode. After the Girls catch Michael and Bridget post-coitus, it becomes a laugh riot at Rose’s daughter’s expense. There’s sex and body shaming in this episode when it comes to Bridget, who Rose still treats like a little girl. There’s some classism, too, as Bridget and Michael swap passing digs about each other’s lifestyles.
Episode 1.16: The Truth Will Out — 7.0
Rose’s daughter Kirsten and her granddaughter Charley visit Miami. While there, Kirsten looks over Rose’s will. To her shock, Kirsten sees that her mother has little money left. She then gets angry at how Rose has supposedly squandered her late husband’s savings.
If there is one flaw about The Golden Girls, it’s the children and grandchildren. They’re never as interesting or affable as the Girls, especially in this episode. Kirsten’s first appearance is not a flattering one, especially since the way she scolds her mother is uncomfortable to witness. And then when we find out Rose lied about the savings to protect her dead husband’s reputation, we dislike Kirsten even more so.
Episode 4.26: We’re Outta Here, Part 2 — 6.9
The neighborhood kids prank the Girls by moving a “for sale” sign from another house to theirs. This causes a man to make a tempting offer for the house, and Blanche accepts. As the Girls mull over her decision, they stroll down memory lane.
There is a detested tradition when it comes to The Golden Girls — the dreaded clip shows. Yes, the series had a glaring number of them that offered nothing new. The formula was usually some event happened that caused the ladies to then remember incidents from past episodes. It was an overused format that no fan appreciates. The only time clip shows were okay was when the flashbacks were original.
Episode 6.24: Never Yell Fire in a Crowded Retirement Home, Part 1 — 6.8
Before she moved in with the Girls, Sophia lived at a retirement home called Shady Pines. She left because the place burned down. Now, the police suspect Sophia is to blame for the fire.
This is another clip show that did not even need to be a clip show. The soapy plot of Sophia committing accidental arson easily could have worked on its own without the need for flashbacks. The writers didn’t trust in their own story so they took the easy route. Well, what was easy for them is now hard for us to watch.
Episode 4.18: Fiddler on the Ropes — 6.7
Sophia takes the Girls’ money and invests in a Cuban boxer named Kid Pepe. They begrudgingly train Pepe for a match, where they could earn their money back. However, they learn that Pepe has been putting an act on this whole time, and he’s not who they really think he is.
To be fair, it was the ’80s. Bear that in mind when remembering this episode where the Girls technically buy a Cuban man and train him to fight for money. Thankfully, the show is surprisingly self-aware as the script points out the problematic aspects.
Episode 5.25-26: The President’s Coming! The President’s Coming! — 6.6
When the President of the United States wants to visit the Girls’ house, a Secret Service agent stops by to interview each one of the ladies. His job is to make sure all of them don’t pose a threat towards the President.
Co-executive producer Terry Hughes left the show at the end of season five. Despite being credited here, he had no part in its conception. What we have here is another painful clip show. A two-parter, no less. The idea of vetting the ladies is funny, but stretching the threadbare plot over two episodes is too much.
Episode 3.24: Mister Terrific — 6.1
A kids’ show host — Mister Terrific — gets Dorothy a job as an adviser. But when her ideas cause Mister Terrific to get fired, Dorothy scrambles to keep everything in order at work. Not to mention, the former host is so distraught that he wants to jump off the side of the building.
The problem with Mister Terrific is that the story — which admittedly is corny — is so unremarkable. There’s not a lot to work with here as a fan either. A few acceptable jokes here and there, but Golden Girls fans aren’t likely to remember this one. Or they’re simply trying to forget it.
Episode 2.26: Empty Nests — 3.6
The Girls’ neighbor Renee is unhappy with her life. Her daughter has gone off to school, and she thinks her husband neglects her. So, the Girls try to cheer Renee up.
The Golden Girls was was such a hit that it was no wonder the producers wanted to replicate the popularity elsewhere. They did this by creating spin-offs, some of which were successful in their own ways. This season two finale was an obvious backdoor pilot that fans abhor. It’s a dull conclusion to a show at its peak. Rita Moreno is a marvelous actor, but she needs to leave this dud off her résumé. The pilot was later heavily retooled, then turned into Empty Nest.
