The edgy New York-based writer Dan Humphrey has gone down in history amongst Gossip Girl fans as a bit of a self-important, manipulative tool, and one of the worst characters we ever saw in a show full of pretty mean people. Penn Badgely himself hated Dan, and for good reason.
Dan Humphrey made a lot of shameless moves over the six seasons he was in the Upper East Side, but we’ve collected ten of the worst. Some of them are really bad, so brace yourself.
He Was Gossip Girl
Pretty self-explanatory; Dan was Gossip Girl. We all know it makes no sense and that it wasn’t pre-planned at all, but whether we like it or not, Dan Humphrey was Gossip Girl herself.
Writing yourself into the lives of people you didn’t really know in the first place is about as shameless as it gets, but spending your time pretending to be offended, shocked and sympathetic about a situation you’re causing? Now that is the work of a true psychopath.
Publishing Terrible Things About Those Closest To Him
The list of lives Dan Humphrey ruined is quite incredible. There were a few, like Blair and Chuck, who (most of the time) he neither liked nor cared about. Therefore his actions towards them don’t mean much. But then there’s Serena and Jenny; his one true love and his sister. He spread rumors that Serena had an STD, was pregnant and that her relationship (with him!) was incestuous. Before all of that, he spread the rumor that his underaged sister Jenny had lost her virginity. We can’t believe he would even think to target such people so important to him.
Never, Ever Getting His Comeuppance
By the end of the show, Dan had been hated by everyone at some point or another. Mostly as a result of the book he ended up writing which outed the secrets of everyone closest to him.
Somehow, despite admitting that he was Gossip Girl in the show’s closing moments, all is forgiven. He sits in a room with people who he has set out to destroy with brutal, unforgiving intentions and tells them it was all him. And they forgive him. Not only that, but the one he betrayed and turned on the most ends up marrying him.
Letting Everyone Take The Blame
There were so many times that the identity of Gossip Girl supposedly got out, or the sender of a certain tip was released. At various points, these people included Serena and Jenny (yet again) and Dan (yet again) let them take the blame, running away scot-free as he played the underprivileged misunderstood hipster card. Everything that came from Gossip Girl went through Dan, so every time someone else ended up taking the blame for one of his blasts, it was all down to the king of manipulation himself.
He Was Also Subtly Sexist
Dan was no stranger to slut-shaming pretty much every girl in his life, too. Whether it was the aforementioned exploitation of Jenny and the rumors he spread about her sex life or the arguments he had with Serena about hers behind closed doors, he took things too far many times.
In particular, he kicked off the show by telling Serena he thought she was ‘different’ when finding out that she slept with Nate, then called her out for sleeping with a teacher, and publicly announced it every time she was seen with a guy, even if that guy was literally him.
Had Huge Double Standards
Despite all of this slut-shaming, Dan did almost every single thing he complained and got annoyed about himself. Often to a much higher degree. He cheated on Vanessa with Serena despite his own hatred and judgment of cheaters. He had a threesome with his girlfriend and best friend (and ignored his girlfriend during). He slept with a teacher despite blasting Serena for doing the exact same thing. He eventually ignored Serena’s declaration of love and spent a while in a strange, nonsensical relationship with Blair. Face it, Dan, you’re so much worse.
Never Forgave (Or Even Thanked) Vanessa
Vanessa wasn’t great. She was pretty manipulative and judgy herself, but it cannot be denied that she truly cares for Dan. In fact, it’s down to her that he finally gets his novel published and receives a ten thousand dollar check for it.
Despite this, the last interactions we see the pair have is at the end of season four when Dan tells her that his life was better before she came back into it. Harsh. Even in season five when he gets a congratulatory note from her, he doesn’t try and thank her or even make amends. By the end of season six, all we get is a few seconds of Vanessa as she reacts to the news on the other side of the world.
Consistently Claimed To Be Underprivileged
In comparison to those on the Upper East Side, Dan is somewhat underprivileged. He has less money, his clothes are more normal and he doesn’t live in a mansion. However, in comparison to most people, Dan still lives a life of luxury. He lives in a hipster Manhattan apartment with his ex-rockstar dad (who also creates an art gallery) while spending his time with the elite of New York attending fancy parties. Then he uses his free time to run a stalking website and write a novel. Despite all of this, he spends the entire show complaining about his lack of privilege and feels like a poor outsider.
Stood In The Way Of Chuck And Blair
The one truly delightful thing about the conclusion of Gossip Girl was that Blair and Chuck finally, and inevitably, got together. This was the one love story people cared about and the one completely wholesome thing about the show. Despite that, Dan still managed to wedge himself between them and delay the inevitable by years. Whether that was through spreading rumors on Gossip Girl that made sure to keep the two at each other’s throats at all times, or dating Blair for months, he never thought to take a step back.
Pretended Not To Be Gossip Girl (Even To Himself)
The most shameless thing Dan did, however, was the one thing no one except the audience saw him do. He sat at home and reacted with shock, fear, and sadness to Gossip Girl blasts. Seriously, what? He was looking at something he himself physically had to put there and gasping at its content. Was he so psychopathic that he had come to believe Gossip Girl was some sort of omnipresent entity? Did he have a split personality disorder that separated himself from Gossip Girl?
No, none of the above. We all know the reason for this is because there was never any intention to make Dan Gossip Girl, but this terrible storyline progression only helps make Dan one of the most hateable, shameless characters in TV history.
