Molly and Lupin may seem like great friends in the Order of the Phoenix - they work together to take down Voldemort, they battle on the same side, and Molly grieves over their death in the Battle of Hogwarts… but just becuase they are both anti-Voldemort doesn’t mean that they are actually real friends.
Despite the fact that they seem to respect each other, there are plenty of times within the series where it seems like Molly doesn’t actually like Lupin… and that Lupin definitely underestimates Molly. He may not undermine her the way that Sirius often does, but they still aren’t quite as close as some fans might think, and here’s why.
They Weren’t Friends In School
Some fans might wonder why it is that Molly never features in any of the stories about James, Lily, and the other parents of the main characters (who went to Hogwarts, anyway). The reason for this is that Molly is actually significantly older than James and the Marauders - by around a decade. This may not be a huge impediment to friendship, but it does mean that they don’t have the kind of long-standing friendship that most of the other adult characters in the series do. After all, when Lupin was finishing school, Molly already had kids!
Lupin Didn’t Offer To Deal With The Boggart At Grimmauld Place
One of the most harrowing scenes for Molly is when she is trying to clear a boggart out of Grimmauld Place, and she is sobbing as it changes into her loved ones’ dead bodies over and over again. Lupin certainly isn’t cold, and comforts her, but they’d known that there was a boggart in that desk for a while - and despite being an ex-defense-against-the-dark-arts professor, and arguably more qualified than Molly, he left her to deal with it.
Molly Wanted Tonks To Marry Bill
This one isn’t really Lupin’s fault - or Molly’s, for that matter - but there’s definitely some coolness between the two, becuase Molly is incredibly fond of Tonks and it’s pretty clear that she was hoping she would get her for a daughter-in-law. Eventually, of course, Molly realizes that Fleur is actually a wonderful partner for Bill, but there’s a part of Molly that definitely got frustrated at Lupin for his relationship… and that speaks volumes. Why wouldn’t she want her friend to be in a relationship with Lupin if he were truly her friend too?
Lupin Sometimes Underestimated Molly
In Lupin’s defense, most of the Order of the Phoenix has a habit of underestimating Molly, undermining her, and overruling her when it comes to Harry. In many ways, Molly is the only mother that Harry has ever had, but despite this Lupin joins in and defers to Sirius when it comes to him.
In addition, Lupin seems to accept (like everyone else), that Molly deals with things like cooking and cleaning at Grimmauld, when a true friend would presumably push for a little more equal treatment.
Molly Doesn’t Invite Lupin Over
Molly is constantly playing host to people at the Burrow, and later at Grimmauld place - she invites Tonks over on a regular basis (even though Tonks is clumsy and not as helpful as she wants to be), she essentially invites Harry to live with them, Hermione is always over, Fleur is staying when she is in a relationship with Bill, the Burrow hosts parties and weddings… but Lupin is rarely another face at the table. Surely, given that he is pretty much alone in the world, if he were a friend, he’d be there more often.
Lupin Doesn’t Know Molly’s Family
While every Weasley knows Lupin by the end of the series, when Lupin is first on the train to Hogwarts, Ron has no idea who he is. It’s clear that Lupin has never actually met Ron or the Weasley’s before, and even after they are at Hogwarts, none of the Weasleys recognize him. That proves that this isn’t a family friend who has ever stopped by - he’s a stranger to them.
Molly Doesn’t Support His Relationship With Tonks (At First)
We’ve already covered the fact that Molly would have much preferred to have Tonks with Bill, rather than Lupin, but even beyond that, Molly hasn’t always been the most supportive of Lupin and Tonks. On one hand, this makes sense - Molly and Tonks are close, and she is worried about how being married to a werewolf would affect her friend. However, that just proves that Molly is Tonks’ friend, not Lupins.
Lupin Was In The Order When Molly Wasn’t
It’s never explicitly stated, but Lupin may hold it against Molly that she wasn’t part of the original Order, whereas he and his friends were. He’s the one who confirms that Molly wasn’t an original member, which seems unnecessary, especially given the fact that she had a whole lot going on at the time with her family and young children!
It may be that because Lupin lost so much in the first war, he harbors some resentment that Molly wasn’t involved then.
Molly Doesn’t Help After Lupin Is Outed
Because Lupin is a werewolf, his life is often incredibly difficult - plenty of wizards are prejudiced, and he finds it difficult to find work or stability. When the students at Hogwarts find out, he loses his job, despite the fact that he was an excellent teacher, and as the series continues, he becomes more and more ostracized. Despite this, and Molly’s predilection for taking in waifs and strays, she doesn’t invite Lupin to live with them. She doesn’t even seem to be helping with mending his ripped robes, despite doing all the mending for everyone else.
They Wouldn’t Even Interact If Not For The Order
At the end of the day, it’s clear that Molly and Lupin become very important to each other, but that’s not quite the same as being true friends. And if it wasn’t for Voldemort rising again and the Order of the Phoenix, these two would probably rarely have even interacted - it’s clear that they weren’t friends to begin with, and unlikely that they would have become friends otherwise. But that doesn’t mean that they didn’t get there in the very end.
