With the holiday season upon us, the holiday movie season is also here. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker will land on December 20, but it’s not the only film appearing to entice the movie-going public. On Christmas day the new Greta Gerwig interpretation of the literary classic, Little Women, will hit theaters. As a quick review (or as a simple reference for newbies) the main characters have been sorted below into their respective Hogwarts houses.
Which characters will you love? Which characters will you loath? Who do you most relate to? Here is the personality test of our age, the Hogwarts sorting for Meg, Jo, Beth, Amy, and all their friends.
Meg March - Gryffindor
You have to be brave to be the eldest sister of this bunch, and Meg seems to have it down. She is the most social, the first to get married, and has no fear of acting on the stage. Like any good Gryffindor, she can also take on a little more than she is prepared to handle at one time (looking at you jam-making scene). It certainly helps that Gryffindor’s golden girl, Hermione Granger (meaning Emma Watson) will be taking on the role of Meg in the upcoming movie as well.
Jo March - Slytherin
Slytherin ambition has found its champion in second daughter, Jo March. A young woman in a man’s world, she will stop at nothing to see her words in print as a real writer. Not always a rule-breaker, but certainly a rule bender, Jo knows what she wants and is not afraid to go after it, or let people know she intends, too. She has a bit of a temper but will do almost anything to help her family. Focused on achievement, Jo is also quite the leader when it comes to the antics of the March sisters.
Beth March - Hufflepuff
When describing the characters in her book Louisa May Alcott has sister Meg tell Beth that, “You’re dear, and nothing else.” As Helga Hufflepuff once said, “I’ll take the rest,” and so Beth is a true Hufflepuff. Beyond how her sisters see her Beth is also incredibly loyal to each of her sisters in turn. She may love Jo best, but she treats each one of her siblings as a treasure. She is patient with each sister, Jo and her temper especially. While ill for much of the book (and movie) Beth still works hard at what she knows, whether taking care of discarded dolls or playing the piano.
Amy March - Slytherin
Though Jo would be the first to protest, Amy and Jo are more alike than they’d like to admit, and thus both would be placed in Slytherin house. They both hold great artistic ambition (while Jo wishes to write Amy wishes to paint) and the two often fight one another because they are both stubborn and temperamental as well. Amy also holds the crown for most evil action of the Little Women narrative, by burning an entire manuscript of her sister’s. A temperamental Slytherin action if there ever was one.
Theodore Laurence (Laurie) - Gryffindor
Opposites have never attracted quite as much as they do in Little Women. Gryffindor Laurie is smitten with Slytherin Jo. Neighbor to all four of the March girls, Laurie’s bravery is on display as soon as he enters their lives. Any lesser young man would look at four well-spoken, confident, and often loud young ladies and flee into the night. Laurie stays and is all the happier for it. His bravery is later on display when he confesses his feelings, his love for Jo. It takes real courage to do that.
Marmee - Hufflepuff
Who but a Hufflepuff could take care of such a brood single-handedly? Marmee is loyal to her family, all four of her girls and her husband who is off at war. She works hard to keep the family together and afloat and instills a work ethic in each of her girls in turn.
She is more often than not the voice of reason in quarrels, arguments, and moments of heartbreak. She cares for her family and her community and loves deeply. When we first meet Marmee she asks her daughters to forgo Christmas gifts for the good of the war effort. A Hufflepuff indeed.
Aunt March - Slytherin
The elderly matriarch of the March family mirrors both of the great nieces who at some point in the story come to help look after her. A very proud, and very single woman, Aunt March oversees a small fortune of her own and struggles tirelessly to instill dreams and ambition in all four of her nieces. She is very particular when it comes to manners and presentation. She has an incredible collection of dresses and jewelry which her Slytherin niece, Amy, admires. She cares about very little outside of her own family.
Friedrich Bhaer - Ravenclaw
The expatriate German professor meets Jo while she is working as a governess for his landlady in New York City. As a professor, he is quite the European intellectual on new American shores.
He has principled views when it comes to politics and is, like Jo, not afraid to air his opinions. Working as a tutor in New York, the wise Ravenclaws would be very happy to have the professor in their midst.
John Brooke - Ravenclaw
A tutor, Like Bhaer, John Brooke is a bit less political and much less intellectually curious. He’s a wise and hard-working teacher none the less. His best traits certainly fit him in the brainy midst of Ravenclaw house for certain. It is his mind that leads him to tutor Laurie, and it is his job working with Laurie that leads him to the love of his life (spoiler alert) Meg March. What’s more romantic for a witty and learned Ravenclaw to have it be their mind that leads them to exactly where they need to be.
Mr. March - Gryffindor
Like his eldest daughter, Mr. March is a Gryffindor. He comes at the end of the list because he is away for so long during the narrative. Why is he away? He is fighting in the Civil War. Sacrificing time with his family, and possibly his life for the good of his country is certainly the brave, and Gryffindor, thing to do. Returning to a home made up completely of women is another brave action the man takes, and one he fully embraces and enjoys.
